An Indian-stereotype elephant in a turban asks you to retrieve gold balloons. And I want it British, alright? British!)ĭKR’s game’s main mode presented an island ready to be explored. (Parenthetical homework: think up atrocious, pun-based titles for Diddy Kong Racing. With Rare’s penchant for terrible British puns, I’m surprised they didn’t toy with the title a bit more. He was probably on cocaine.ĭiddy Kong Racing didn’t come up in conversation.ĭiddy Kong Racing was an adventure. In 2014, I encountered the taller boy’s twin brother at a Christmas party. I never went back to the taller boy’s house. We continued watching the NBA game afterward. At halftime, we played Kobe Bryant in NBA Courtside for fifteen minutes. He wanted to play the game with me and some of the other kids from our class. I’d finished the time trials to unlock T.T. Not long after that, the taller boy invited me back over to his house again.
In modern parlance, the taller boy had just purchased a “loot crate.” I was the 1997 equivalent of paid DLC. “I didn’t know you were friends,” she said of the taller boy.
My mom picked me up after she was done at work. I defeated the record times on half the tracks without failing. I sat in the taller boy’s finished basement in front of a large TV. Setting new records on all the tracks earned you access to the fastest racer in the game: T.T., the nightmarish, living, clock-faced, cartoon machine-man. Beating those times demanded total mastery.
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However, the greatest challenge required the player to defeat the built-in time trial ghosts haunting each of the game’s tracks. The taller boy had done the job without too much difficulty. The stretched out jpeg-man screwed up his dad-face into a smile and said yes.Ĭonquering Diddy Kong Racing’s Adventure Mode isn’t terribly taxing. The taller boy said, “Yeah! Come on over to my house and show me. The taller boy said, “I tried doing that like you told me. He was wearing a clean, half-zip sweater. I’d never met his dad but his dad looked like an aged, stretched out jpeg of the taller boy. We began walking from our lockers toward the exit. That’ll give you just a little bit more speed.” Then, when the rainbow smoke appears out the back of your car, that’s when you hit ‘A’ again. And you need to let go of the ‘A’ when hitting the speed zips. I said, “You need to hit all the speed zips.
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The taller boy said, “I can’t figure out how to do it.”
I said, “No, not if you know what you’re doing.” A boy much taller than me put a Diddy Kong Racing cartridge in my hands.
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